Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) has its roots in psychology, and is a fascinating study of how we think and communicate, verbally and non-verbally – and how we can reinforce and/or reprogram our patterns of behavior to help us lead more fulfilling and successful lives. I’m sure you’ve heard some of the basic tips on body language and mirroring or matching; so in this blog post, let’s talk mostly about ‘connecting’ with the written word, as it is almost a dying art that needs reviving.
In part, NLP helps us to become more aware of how we ‘connect’ with others and how we can influence circumstances or situations for the better.
When you’re engaged in a great conversation, have you ever noticed the similarities between you and the person you are speaking with? Your tempo and tone of voice is likely in sync and you might even be standing or sitting the same way.
On the contrary, have you ever felt ‘disconnected’ with someone and not sure why? Perhaps there are times that you would like to be able to change this. Being more aware of yourself and others is the first step.
This can apply on a business or personal level; whether you’re conversing face-to-face, in a group, over the phone or even by email.
There are very simple ways that you can create synergy between you and others; and even influence the energy in a room.
I’ll digress just a moment with respect to our internal language and speak to mine in particular. I always make the effort to assume that others have good intentions and I hold them up to their best selves; perhaps in part, since I hope that others will do the same for me.
That said, there are times that we’ve all read an email or article, and then found ourselves re-reading it. We often spend extra time, attempting to understand the message, sometimes second-guessing, and trying not to be offended or turned off by the language or brevity of the correspondence. We’ll even put off responding until we have a bit more clarity.
Here are some tips to help you build rapport when corresponding by email, something almost everyone does everyday:
- Ask yourself, “Does my message reflect my company (or my intentions or personality) positively, or have I left anything ‘up for interpretation’ (i.e. too brief can come across as aloof, indifferent or rushed)?”
- When responding to someone, notice how they communicate and mirror it (within reason), being mindful still of the impression you want to put forth. Also, do your utmost to reply in a timely fashion.
- Check your grammar and spelling, especially of people’s names. Take a second to review your email before hitting ‘send’, to ensure you’ve communicated clearly (to the best of your ability).
- In business especially, create an automatic signature line, so your contact info is always easily accessible. Also be sure to sign off on your correspondence with a simple ‘Thanks’ or ‘Kind regards’ and your name.
These are just the basics that most of us have learned at a very young age – good manners. Don’t let the hustle and bustle of life distract you from the importance and value of simple niceties. Quite often, there is a goldmine of opportunity awaiting us when we make the right things a priority.
In closing, and on a slightly different topic, given the focus of some of my recent blogs; if you are a writer / author of a book(s), blog or newspaper column, I encourage you to write with your reader in mind. Perhaps reflect on the above article and how it pertains to your own writing and creative process … and your ability to ‘connect’ with your audience of one or many!
‘Wishing you ‘Joy’ in the Journey!
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Until next time,